This morning as I was finishing up getting myself ready for work, I heard the oh-so familiar little whimpers from our nursery. Kansas was waking up, right on schedule. We went into her room and Kimberly picked her up. She snuggled up to Kim’s shoulder and sleepily said, “Momma!” Then she reached for me and said, “Mommie!” I gave her hugs and snuggles and we all headed down the hall. We sat at the kitchen table and shared some more morning snuggles and loves. I kissed her adorable cheeks and nuzzled my face into her neck. I stroked her soft arms and tickled her chubby thighs. “iiiiiiiiiiyoouuuuuuu!!!” Kansas squealed. “MUUUUUWAHHH!” (Translated: I love you, and here, let me blow you a kiss!!)
I looked at Kimberly and said, “What did life mean before she was here?!?”
Sure, everything we did… our pre-child experiences and adventures weren’t entirely without purpose. We were building a strong relationship with each other. Being a parent is hard, and it certainly takes a toll on your heart and on your sanity! But because we have such a solid foundation, we can ultimately weather even the toughest of parenting storms, together.
We also spent all those years surrounding ourselves with the folks who would support, respect, and protect us – for the long haul. There’s really no room in our life for anything less. We figured out which relationships were worth fighting for, and which ones could be left in the past.
Sure, life was a lot less complicated before Kansas came. We certainly had lots and lots and LOTS of fun! We could stay out late, and we could travel on a whim! But all those experiences – the parties and the vacations and the rock concerts… none of them can even scratch the surface when compared to the absolute JOY I felt this morning at the kitchen table.
There’s no doubt in my mind that I was born to be a mom. HER mom.
In case you’ve been living under a rock and hadn’t heard, we’re now expecting our second little bundle of happiness. Creating this baby was a long-fought battle, which ultimately involved infertility doctors and drugs. And on top of that, my pregnancy hasn’t been dreamy or without complication. There some looming question marks about the baby’s health and about my health but hopefully we’ll be able to get all that sorted out soon. We take things one-doctor-visit-at-a-time, and hope for the absolute best. And to add to all that, while it may seem superficial, after spending so much of the past three years focusing on getting my body to a healthier place, the fact that I’m gaining weight now is seriously messing with my head. In the end, there is no doubt in my mind that it will all have been worth it. We’re ready to deal with whatever bumps in the road that life throws our way!
“New Baby” is due to arrive on KJ’s second birthday. Even 4+months in, it still blows my mind every time I think about the fact that there’s a tiny little person growing in my belly.
There are future snuggles and giggles and “iiiiiiyoooooouuus” and it all just makes me giddy to imagine!
Susan,
First, congratulations!!! Second, I want to offer myself up if you need someone to talk to. Being that we have both been down the same journey with our health and being that the last two pregnancies I’ve had have been full of a level of stress I didn’t know existed I wanted to let you know that I am here if you need someone who, hands down, would understand. I struggled with lots of those, as you put it, looming health questions right up until the time of their births and its horrible, I know. I was advised to have an abortion with Gabriel, just because of his feet, and when I didn’t, my doctors stopped talking to me completely, necessitating the need to find a new one. I also understand the weight gain issue, as I have had three children since loosing all of the massive weight I did. With each pregnancy, I returned to my pre-pregnancy weight by the time I had went to my six week check-up. You will do just great! I know your strong! And, that baby inside of you, will be beautiful and perfect! Please call or email anytime.
Miss you guys,
Amy (Kim’s cousin)
860-233-8734
the.kirby.family@att.net