Okay. This has been a few days in the making but I think I finally have some time to write about the birth of Kansas!
THE BEGINNING
On Wednesday, February 17th, I went to my Ob/Gyn for a routine pre-natal appointment. They took my blood pressure and it came back 147/97. The medical assistant looked at the result with shock. I’ve never had high blood pressure in my life, let alone during the pregnancy. She then collected a urine sample for me and upon testing it, noted that it was high in protein- another red flag. “You’re probably going to be admitted,” she said. “Oookay,” I responded, thinking that admitting me was going to be as simple as them running a few tests on me, maybe giving me a prescription and sending me home. After all, this was just a run of the mill appointment and I was still 2 and a half weeks away from my due date. Surely it wasn’t baby time yet…? I wasn’t ready! I didn’t have a bag packed, I didn’t have a birth plan written, we never bathed the dogs and good God did they stink, I still needed to scoop poop… my to-do-list-before-baby-gets-here was sorely neglected. Plus, I ate lunch 3 hours ago. I needed to eat more. I was getting hungry just thinking about the fact that I wasn’t going to be allowed to eat for who knows how long.
In addition to the warning signs of high blood pressure and protein in my urine, I also had a weird case of heartburn. I had been heartburn free for the entire pregnancy up until the last month, but even then it only affected me at night. On this day, however, it was plaguing me all morning and afternoon. When my doctor came into the room, I told him about the heartburn and he said, “that’s not heartburn, that’s your elevated liver enzymes giving you chest pains. You have preeclampsia and we need to take this baby out now.” I was 37 weeks and 4 days along – early, yes, but still considered full term and safe enough to induce.
Once admitted, the nursing staff told me they had to put me on magnesium IV fluids to control my high blood pressure. Intravenous magnesium evidently makes you feel crappy – it makes you feel VERY hot, and nauseous. Well, thankfully, my body decided to show mercy on me and spare me the nausea, but in doing so, my skin felt like it was on fire. Within minutes of them hooking me up to the IV, I felt like I was in a sauna. Ugh, not a pleasant experience.
Evidently I was also having contractions this entire time, but I wasn’t feeling them at all. What I DID feel however, was the frickin’ vaginal exam the doctor had to give me to see how far I was dilated. Sweet mother of God, OUCH. Look, I’m all for a good time like the next gal and I can handle a pap smear any day of the week like a champ, but what this doctor was doing to me FREAKING HURT. Imagine being punched in the face, but instead of your attacker pulling their fist back, they instead press it as hard as they can into the place where they socked you. Now imagine that happening *down there*. After a solid 10+ seconds of torture, he noted that I was dilated to 2, and they induced me with pitocin to try to speed things up a bit. At this point, aside from the discomfort of the magnesium, and the shock to my girl parts from being violated, I was still relatively pain free. Susan hadn’t planned on us having the baby early either and desperately needed to run out to her school to finish things up for her substitute teacher. She left for about 2 hours, and I pretty much slept while she was gone. And BlackBerried.
By the time she got back, the pain was starting to set in, but it was still manageable. The doctor came in and performed a vaginal exam AGAIN. JERK. Dilated to 3 this time, but still progressing much slower than anticipated with the pitocin. My nurse said they would likely break my water in an attempt to speed things up even faster, and told me that in nearly all cases, any manageable pain would turn into major pain once the water breaks, and would I like any drugs? I figured now was as good of a time as any, so I opted for the epidural.
The epidural took away some pain but for the most part, only numbed my legs. My abdomen and crotch-area, where you’re in the most pain, had 100% feeling (as was confirmed when the doctor came in a few hours later and PERFORMED ANOTHER VAGINAL EXAM FROM HELL ON ME). The only thing I was thinking while he was measuring my cervix (other than how I wanted to kill him) was, “shouldn’t I not be feeling this since I have an epidural…?” No change, dilated to a 3 still. Sigh.
In the early morning of the 18th, I was awoken to major contractions. I kept hitting my epidural button but nothing was giving me relief. I called the nurse and told her about my pain, and it was still early enough that they could give me more drugs, so she called the anesthesiologist… whom we later found out was busy doing another procedure. So they called in a nurses assistant who gave me a lidocaine boost. Praise Jesus, RELIEF! That lidocaine saved my life! I went completely numb from the waist down. Susan saw me have an off-the-charts contraction and I didn’t feel a thing! The doctor came in and performed another vaginal exam and I totally didn’t mind! I was dilated to a 4 at this time, but the lidocaine allowed me to get some rest for a few hours, and that’s exactly what I did.
THE MIDDLE
Around 9:00am, I felt a sensation like I have never known before. In actuality, it was the baby traveling down the birth canal. A lot of women have told me that it feels like you’re basically taking a crap through your vagina. I’d liken it to taking a crap the size and shape and hardness of a softball through your vagina. It felt like she was literally hanging outside of my body, which, to add insult to injury, was still on fire from the magnesium coursing through my veins. They covered me with ice packs to try to make me more comfortable.
By 10:00am, I was having full blown contractions and the nurse told me if I wanted to start pushing, I could, but I had to wear an oxygen mask because the contractions were starting to affect the baby’s heart rate (we later found out that the umbilical chord was wrapped around her neck). I hated that oxygen mask, and though they asked me to wear it continuously, I had to take it off at the end of each contraction because it was driving me insane. So, here goes nothing… deep breath, push and count to 10, repeat times 3. Incidentally, by this time, both the epidural and the lidocaine had completely worn off so I was feeling everything 100%. Ouch? I asked for more meds – something, anything – but they wouldn’t give me anything; I was too far along by that point.
I pushed hard for a half hour and became so exhausted that the nurse told me to stop to see if my uterus would progress her on its own, since it got to a point that my pushing wasn’t doing anything. Somehow I was able to rest, although in retrospect I don’t know how… perhaps my exhaustion had completely overwhelmed any pain I was feeling. Then, the nurse offered me something better than the strongest drug in the world. JELLO. It was the first thing I’d eaten since noon the day before, and it was heavenly.
After close to an hour, the nurse checked me and found that the relaxing had helped: the baby’s head was about knuckle deep and I needed to resume pushing. Susan took my right leg, Susan’s mom took my left, and I bore down with my feet towards the nurse and pushed pushed pushed solidly for another hour, constantly fighting with that dumb oxygen mask in between contractions.
At one point, I pushed and I got to what one of the nurses called “the ring of fire” – it was the point where the baby was either going to or not going to tear me with the next push. Now, when it comes to tearing vs. an episiotomy, every woman is different. I’m personally from the school of thought that I’d rather have the doctor cut a straight line under a local anesthesia than risk have the baby tear me in a jagged, unpredictable fashion without any kind of local.
That’s my logical side talking. In reality, here’s what really was said as it was happening:
Me: *push* *feel ring of fire*
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH OH MY GOD WHERE IS THE DOCTOR GET HIM IN HERE I WANT HIM TO CUT ME NOW!!!!!!! AND WHEN HE CUTS ME, YOU BETTER GIVE ME DRUGS BECAUSE I DON’T WANT TO FEEL ANYTHING!!!!!“
Nurse: “I have lidocaine!”
The nurse had the doctor paged, and he came in and told me he was going to numb me, cut me, and that the baby was just going to fall out. Music to my ears! I was beyond exhausted and SO ready to be done. He performed the episiotomy, and after 2 pushes, I felt 50% of the most intense relief I had felt in the past 9 months. The baby was out! The only thing rivaling the vernix coating she had all over her body was the amount of hair on her head. And I’ll never forget the moment when he laid her on top of me: she had “What The Hell Just Happened?!” written all over her face, and she was the most beautiful, precious being I had ever laid eyes on. In a split second, my life had changed forever.
We didn’t get much initial bonding time beyond a few minutes – they kept the baby only feet away from me in the room under the heater while they wiped her off, weighed her, performed her Apgar and a few other initial tests and procedures. While this was happening, the second 50% of the most intense relief I had felt in the past 9 months occurred: delivery of the placenta! Unfortunately, no pictures. Sorry. Then the doctor started to stitch me up. He had to keep re-administering the lidocaine because I could feel just about every needle insertion he was making, but he eventually finished.
THE END
So, what do you get when you take a Joey:
And add a Kimberly?
You get a Kansas Josephine Stewart:
Kansas is now 12 days old and as I sit here and type that, I have to pause and already think, “where has the time gone?” I never thought the days could go by so fast when all you’re doing is sitting on the couch staring at a baby, but they are. The past 12 days have been a sleep-deprived blur, but one I wouldn’t trade for anything in the world. And I’m the luckiest person ever to be able to share this with Susan.
AFTERWARD
We had to return to the hospital not even 24 hours after leaving because Kansas had severe jaundice, and she had to go under the photo therapy lamps for a few days. That was a rough nearly 72 hour period and we were emotional wrecks over it. Even though it was the best place for her, it was still hard because we could only touch her through an isolator while her bilirubin score decreased and her health stabilized, except every 3 hours when we were allowed to take her out to breastfeed.
Through it all, with the exception of one nurse in the special care nursery who we have not-so-affectionately referred to as The Hag, the care we received at Kaiser was completely amazing. Though having a baby 2 and a half weeks early wasn’t in the books, I’m so grateful that everything happened the way it did and we have a beautiful, healthy baby girl and dark circles under our eyes to show for it. She’s such a good baby, too. She only cries when she’s hungry or when she’s getting her diaper changed (she’s not a fan of leaving her warm jammies). If it’s not either of those two things, then her cries can be easily solved simply by picking her up and loving on her. Easy!
To see more pictures. go to http://kimberlyandsusan.smugmug.com/Kansas-Josephine
